The Breakdown

I love the day we climb into our attic & pull down all the tupperware bins that contain all of our Christmas goodies, but ironically enough I love when we creep closer to the new year & I have to pull the bins back down & pack away everything for the next year. I love seeing cleared off spaces & really love just how much easier the weekly task of dusting becomes again..lol.

This year I really hit up the thrift stores in hopes to finding storage containers for ornaments and such..and well, I DID! And I'm completely stoked about it. I can finally toss the numerous containers & have 1 bin to drag out each year {pom-poms quickly russling together}.

Lee is with his Dad till Sunday evening..and I honestly can't wait for him to get back. I miss the kid. You know I remember the first holiday I had to split with his father {he was 4yro} & it was terrible. I remember just the simple act of waking up without my little man in the house, just broke my heart. I remember inviting my girl friends over to spend the night with me or even I remember one year inviting my neighbors {single dad with his 3 sons} for a camp out in my living room just so I wasn't alone..lol. I have to wonder how in the world I would have ever survived as a single, childless young woman. I would have adopted way too many pets thats for sure..lol. But, now here we are Lee is 13yro. and I still find myself missing him like crazy. I've been blessed with such a great relationship with him & I only hope it continues to grow as he turns into a young man. These upcoming years really make me nervous. This is where Lee will more than likely be exposed to drugs, sex and major peer pressure. I just hope he shines through the pressures & sees that his life is worth way, way more than any of those things can provide. Lee & I have a very open relationship. I've always tried to keep communication open, honest and true for him. Now, don't get me wrong there are times where I have to drag the story out of him, but I just don't let him get away wih the rolled eyes that say, "mom, you just wouldn't understand". Sometimes I will just say it how I know they would say it. For example. I bluntly asked him if any of his friends have had sex. Yes, people our kids are being exposed to sexual behavior even at 11!!!! We can't put ourselves into a box & believe, "oh thats not happening at my kid's school". I have too many friends that are middle school & jr. high teachers and guess what...it is! So, back to the question. I immediately got the look of "how gross, mom. Even if they were I'm not going to tell you". And then he says, "gahh, mom..no..". Well, this answer doesn't end this discussion by far. So, I said. If they aren't having sex have they talked about having sex? "Oh, mommmmm,ok,ok, they say they can't wait to have sex & there are a few girls that they talk about". Now, I want to see what group of friends are we talking about here. Is half of football practice about girls?? {kind of saying it laughing", "no, the guys are pretty serious about football". Then of course I want to know about Cross Country. I bet the boys on your cross country team have a hard time watching their mouths at a run since its co-ed. "Nope, we're freaking exhausted and focused on the run". So, now I know its strickly kids in class that are making the comments. Which gives me a little more peace simply because these are boys he doesn't "hangs" out with a whole lot. I then just ask him, "are you curious about sex, Lee". And then I was shocked he really let it just pour out. "Mom, I look forward to falling in love with someone one day, but I really do want to be married first, then experience that with her." He has been LISTENING!! I don't live in a ignorant bubble and I'm sure he will waver in his choices, but I hope he comes back to the root of it all.
"Mom, I have dreams I first want to accomplish, I want to go to college, meet that person & then build a life for us". At this point I have that proud parent moment. My heart smiles. And I say to him, "Lee I want you to love yourself first & then at which you'll be able to love someone else beyond all bounderies. Its natural to be curious about sex, and God designed it to be a beautiful & great thing that all of us should share with our husband or wives."

Now, I will have to visit this blog once Lee turns 18yro. & we'll see how his journey in this world is going. The world is a very big & sometimes very scarey place. I just hope my babies make-it through & see the beauty it all has to offer.